The last time I bared my soul, I was stuck on the disappointment of not having my very first pair of shoes finished AND having to deal with not living up to my own expectations.
I have a deep-rooted fear of being mediocre. I don’t know where this trait stems from, but its a drive I’ve noticed in my adolescent years, one I can’t suppress and one that has me constantly craving more in life. Tbh, I can’t pin-point why it took so long to finish these studded strappy platform heels, but the fact that it wasn’t finished built up the ripple effect that led me to question whether or not shoemaking was for me or if I’m just living a million dollar dream.
Believe me when I say the idea of making shoes, wearing shoes, selling shoes or simply the idea of our innate love and need for shoes occupies a good 90% of my mind on the daily. The other 10% obviously goes to food, clothes, my dry love life (bless my soul), family… you know how it goes. So finishing my first pair never left my mind, except there was only one little problem. I couldn’t shake this sense of feeling somewhat blinded by the fact that I was no longer being walked through at the Art & Sole Academy so I stalled as long as I could. In all honesty, I harboured a little self-doubt as I questioned the possibility of finishing the pair on my own.
Ultimately, this created some sort of mental block and emotional barrier between the pursuit of my dreams and I. Moving at a snail’s pace seemed to be the only speed I could create, and honestly, I wasn’t mad about that. I would rather have finished in 2019 than not finished at all.
Like I mentioned in my previous blog post I’m still enduring my societal obligations to finish school so distributing my time fairly between that and making shoes has not been the easiest thing to do, especially during my final year, but I sure am staying afloat. On one hand, I’m not a professional Bozo so it’s a lot to juggle, and on the other hand I did pray hard to find a love for something that deeply fuels me before I graduate college so, hey. You get what you ask for!
It’s been a long time coming, so without further ado…
And those that are yet to make up their minds! (Btw if you haven’t seen Kinky Boots, are you even on Planet Earth???)
I bring to you *cues drumroll* …. The REBEL!
I have to say I’m a VERY proud mother. The process of ridding all self-doubt and completing this race I started was truly fulfilling that I went ahead to test my ability and refresh my knowledge of shoemaking by creating another pair. Even though I was under the same circumstances i.e handling the pressure of school, I felt a lot more confident this time and it was a walk in the park.
So yes, shoemaking IS for me. There is no uncertainty about that.
Check out my Making Of posts in the Portfolio tab to see more BTS flicks. And don’t forget to follow my IG @mollywolz to keep up with the journey to Molly!
Until next time!